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Stray Thoughts

  • Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
  • There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
  • When I am feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. (Not really)
  • If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
  • A penny saved is a government oversight.
  • The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
  • The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  • He who hesitates is probably right.
  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
  • If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
  • The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
  • Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

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