Prayer
My dear Father in Heaven
YES?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying!
BUT YOU CALLED ME.
Called you? I didn't call you. i'm praying.. My dear Father in Heaven..
THERE YOU DID IT AGAIN.
Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest I see every Sunday at church.
Did what?
CALLED ME! YOU SAID, "MY FATHER IN HEAVEN". HERE I AM. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
But I didn't mean anything by it. I was just, you know, saying my prayers for the nlght. I always say my prayers. It makes me feel good kinda like doing my duty.
OH, ALL RIGHT... GO ON.
I'm thankful for my many blessings.
HOLD IT! HOW THANKFUL?
What?
HOW THANKFUL FOR YOUR MANY BLESSINGS?
I'm.. well... I don't know. How should I know? It's just a part of my prayer. Everyone said I should express my thanks.
OH WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME. GO AHEAD.
Go ahead?
WITH THE PRAYER.
Oh yeah. Let's see... bless the poor and the sick and the needy and the afflicted.
D0 YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
Well sure I mean it.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?
Doing, who me? Nothing I guess. I just think it would be kinda nice if you took control of things down here like you have up there, so people won't suffer much.
HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?
Well. I go to church. I pay my tithing. I don't...
THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT YOUR TEMPER? YOU HAVE A PROBLEM THERE. AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY SUFFER. AND THEN THERE'S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR M0NEY... ALL ON YOURSELF. AND HOW ABOUT THE KINDS OF BOOKS YOU READ!
Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest I see every Sunday at church.
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT WE WERE PRAYING TO BLESS THE NEEDY. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, I'LL NEED TO HAVE HELP FROM THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT...LIKE YOU.
Oh, all right. I guess I have a few hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably mention some others. .
SO COULD I.
Look. Father, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than usual. Bless the missionaries, to be led to the doors of the honest in heart.
YOU MEAN PEOPLE LIKE RALPH?
Ralph?
YES. THE MAN AROUND THE CORNER.
That Ralph?!? But he smokes and drinks and never goes to church.
HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIS HEART LATELY?
Of course not, how can I...
I HAVE. I LOOKED. AND IT IS ONE OF THOSE HONEST HEARTS YOU WERE JUST PRAYING A80UT.
Well then, get the missionaries down there. Do you think I like having a non-member for a neighbour?
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A MISSIONARY. I THOUGHT I MADE THAT PRETTY CLEAR?
Hey, wait a minute. What is this? Criticize "me" day? Here I am, doing my duty, keeping the commandments to pray, and all of a sudden, you break in and remind me of all my problems.
WELL, YOU CALLED ME. AND,HERE I AM. KEEP ON PRAYING, I'M INTERESTED IN THE NEXT PART. YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED THE ORDER AROUND, HAVE YOU?.. GO ON...
I don't want to.
WHY NOT?
I know what you will say.
TRY ME AND SEE.
Please forgive me of all my sins, and help me to forgive others.
WHAT ABOUT BILL?
Wait a minute, I want to ask, you a question. Do you always listen to all my prayers?
See, I knew it! I knew you'd bring him up! Listen, Father. He told lies about me and I lost my job. Everyone at the office thinks I'm a first class creep, and I didn't do anything. I'm going to get even with him.
BUT YOUR PRAYERS. WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYERS?
I didn't mean it.
AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST. I GUESS YOU REALLY ENJOY CARRYING THAT LOAD OF BITTERNESS AROUND, DON'T YOU?
No I don't. But i'11 feel better as soon as I get even with him.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?
What secret?
YOU WON'T FEEL BETTER. YOU'LL FEEL WORSE. LISTEN TO ME. YOU FORGIVE BILL, AND I'LL FORGIVE YOU.
But Father, I can't forgive Bill.
THEN I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU.
No matter what?
NO MATTER WHAT. BUT YOU'RE NOT THROUGH WITH YDUR PRAYER YET. GO ON.
Oh, all right... Please help me to control my feelings, and not yield to temptation.
GOOD. GOOD. I'LL DO THAT. BUT STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN ALL THOSE PLACES WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.
What do you mean by that?
JUST WHAT I SAID. STOP HANGING AROUND THOSE MAGAZINE RACKS, AND SPENDING SO MUCH TIME IN FRONT OF THE T.V. SOME OF THE STUFF IS GOING TO GET TO YOU SOONER OR LATER. YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF IN SOME TERRIBLE THINGS BEFORE LONG... AND DON'T USE ME FOR ANOTHER ESCAPE HATCH EITHER!
An escape hatch? I don't understand.
SURE YOU DO. YOU'VE DONE IT LOTS OF TIMES - YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A CRISIS SITUATION, AND YOU COME RUNNING TO ME. "FATHER, HELP ME OUT OF THIS MESS AND I PROMISE I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN." IT'S AMAZING HOW THE QUALITY AND INTENSITY IMPROVE WHILE YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. DO YOU REMEMBER SOME OF THOSE BARGAINS YOU TRIED TO MAKE WITH ME?
Well I don't think...oh yeah...like the time Mom's visiting teach saw me coming out of that movie...oh brother!!!
DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR PRAYER? I DO. ."OH GOD, DON'T LET HER TELL MY MOTHER WHERE I'VE BEEN. I PROMISE I WILL GO TO NOTHING BUT 'G' RATED FROM NOW ON." SHE DIDN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER, BUT YOU DIDN'T KEEP YOUR PROMISE, DID YOU?
No Father, I didn't. I'm sorry.
SO AM I. GO AHEAD AND FINISH YOUR PRAYER.
Wait a minute, I want to ask, you a question. Do you always listen to all my prayers?
EVERY WORD. EVERY TIME.
Then how come you never talked back to me before?
HOW MANY CHANCES HAVE YOU GIVEN ME? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH TIME BETWEEN YOUR "AMEN" AND YOUR HEAD HITTING THE PILLOW FOR ME TO DRAW A BREATH... HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU AN ANSWER?
You could if you really wanted to.
NO, I COULD IF YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO. CHILD, I ALWAYS WANT TO.
Father, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?
I ALREADY HAVE. AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME INTERRUPT. I GET LONELY TO TALK TO YOU SOMETIMES. GOOD NIGHT, I LOVE YOU.
Good night. And I love you too.