Women

1     A Woman

• A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
• "Because I'm a woman", she told him.
• "I don't understand", he said.
• His mother just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
• Later the little boy asked his father,
• "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
• "All women sometimes cry for no reason", was all his father could say.
• The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
• Finally he asked God, "Why do women cry so easily?"
• God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.
• I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
• I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth, and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
• I gave her a toughness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining .
• I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
• I gave her strength to support her husband through his faults, and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
• I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never purposely hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
• Finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers to use whenever it is needed.
• You see, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she has, or the way she styles her hair.
• The beauty of a woman must be seen in her heart - the place where love resides."

2     Mum Goes To Bed

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for dinner the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and filled the kettle ready for the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the drier, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mum then creamed her face, put on moisturiser, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one still up, doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, and straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow. About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular, "I'm going to bed." And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here?

• Wonder why women live longer?
• Because we are strong ... made for the long haul!

... And God Created Woman.

By the time God created woman, He was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and asked, "Why are you spending so much time on this creation?"

The Lord answered, "Have you seen the requirements sheet for her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, have a lap that can hold two children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements for this creation. "Six pairs of hands! No way!" said the angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" the angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement. "Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through a closed door as she asks her children what they are doing, even though she already knows."

"Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no-one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day, wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick, AND can feed a large family on a pound of mince, and can even persuade a nine year old boy to have a shower."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops! It looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything, for women are truly amazing."

-- Authors Unknown